Raising Children--Quotes

I've got some inspiring quotes about children today. As I scoured the internet looking these up, I found lots more to share. So I'll have others coming over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

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“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.”
Rosaleen Dickson

“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” 
Dr. Haim Ginott

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them”
Oscar Wilde

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Anonymous

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future”
John F. Kennedy

"Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardour, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shams, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision."
Aldous Huxley

"The best way to keep children home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere--and let the air out of the tires."
Dorothy Parker

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."
Erma Bombeck
"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."
Rabindranath Tagore

"The people hardest to convince they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime."
Shannon Fife
"Children spell "love," T-I-M-E."
Dr Anthony P Whitman
"Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family."
George Bernard Shaw

Life Below Zero: A Glimpse at a Cold Day

I stepped outside this morning, and the snow squeaked beneath my feet. Not a crunch, a squeak. Squeaky snow means one thing: It's cold.

Two degrees below zero, to be exact. Though I don't know that until I reach my car and look at the outside thermostat reading. And by the time I reach the car, my eyelashes and the inside of my nose are frozen, and the cold has seeped through my dress boots and driving gloves.

Maybe one day someone will invent a car seat that you can actually buckle while wearing gloves. But until then, the gloves come off whenever I secure my two-year-old into place. So with my fingers nearly frostbitten, I slide into my own seat, and the floor beside the gas and brake pedals is solid with ice. This happens over a series of days and weeks during the winter months, when you get into the car with snow on your boots. The snow melts into a puddle beneath your feet as the car warms and you drive to your destination, then the moisture refreezes once the car's off.

Sometimes I wonder if the cold is worth it, if I really should be living in a place where twenty degrees is considered warm weather during the months of January and February and having below zero temperatures isn't uncommon. Sometimes I wish for snow my kids can play in--as opposed to snow that's so deep my kids would get lost in it if they played anywhere that hadn't been plowed a hundred times throughout the course of the winter.

But as I pull out of the driveway, I look around. The snow is bright and white against the silent woods, and the world is still, in a lovely frozen sort of way. Then I get to the end of my road and I see it: Lake Superior. The big terrible body of water that creates its own weather, causing most of the snow and wind and frigid temperatures me and my family endure during the winter months. On a cold morning such as this, the ice has blown into shore, and steam is rising from the lake into the sky.

Have you ever seen steam rise from an icy lake? It's beautiful. It's majestic. It's indescribable. And it only happens when it's very cold.

Sometimes in life, you have to endure the cold, freezing times before you can find the beauty. Have you endured any cold times recently? What beauty have you found hidden inside them? Or maybe you have a fond winter memory. I'd love for you to share your stories in a comment below.

Encouragement after the Holidays

Hello Everyone,

I don't know about you, but I've sure had a busy holiday season. At times over the past three weeks, life has been so crazy I've nearly forgotten to breath. Or clean the bathroom, do laundry, write thank you cards . . . you get the idea. So I wanted to leave you with some encouragement from God's Word.

Galations 6:9 says, "And let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season, we shall reap if we faint not."

Now that the holidays are over and life is swinging back into normal for most of us, let's not grow discouraged with all the regular, daily demands of homemaking and raising kids. Keep plugging on, and God promises you will reap rewards when the time comes.

The Good Mother

I’m a terrible mother.

Before you call social services and report me, no, I don’t beat or starve my children, but there are days when I fall way short of today’s definition of a good mother. I don’t spend a lot of time with my children (and often think that’s okay). I don’t correct their homework (and have no intention of doing so). At times, I get annoyed when they interrupt me. I sometimes yell at them when they frustrate me (like spilling milk on the table I just cleaned).

How many times have I not paid attention to what a child was saying because my attention was on my email? How many times do I pack my day with too much work and end up too tired to play a game or read a story to them before bed?

We as mothers and women have a tendency to set the bar so high, it’s nigh on impossible to reach. We tell ourselves that if we don’t bake the cookies from scratch, or don’t pay close enough attention to the babblings of the 2-year-old, or don’t fill-in-the-blank, our children will not be happy, healthy, or have a good life.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But how many of us have had similar thoughts dance through our minds, along with the accompanying guilt at not being a good enough mother? I sure have, even though I try very hard not to.

Then there’s the inevitable comparisons with other mothers. Even when we’re not consciously thinking about how other women parent, it can seep into our minds in the blink of an eye.

Here’s an example of what I mean: When my oldest was a toddler, we went to the park on one of the first warm spring days. She had on a short-sleeved shirt probably for the first time that year. As we walked to the playground, I looked around at the other mothers who were arriving with their children. Nearly every one of them had whipped out a tube of sunscreen and was slathering their child’s face and arms with the stuff. My daughter looked at me and asked if she needed sunscreen. I told her no and to go play, but in that moment, I felt like a bad mother, one who sends her defenseless child out into the sunny world with no sunscreen.

Other times this feeling has cropped up for me includes being the mom without the first aid kit at the playground and another mom has to lend you a Band-aid to bandage your child’s bloody knee. Or giving my kids a non-organic, not-too-healthy snack when other moms have artfully arranged carrot sticks and hummus.

If we fall into this mindset that we are not good enough mothers, that our parenting styles and family life is not up to par with the rest of the world—and as a result our children will not be able to fulfill their great destinies— then we will miss out on a lot of the joys of childhood.

We also will miss out on the laughter and the pain, the joys and the sorrows, the average grades and the missed goals. And those lessons learned from not being perfect, from seeing how we as mothers handle life’s disappointments, and from enjoying life to its fullest whatever our circumstances, are priceless.

It’s not being the perfect mother that our children will love us for—it’s being the best mother we can be for them. That won’t look good some days, but if we turn our backs on measuring ourselves to an impossible standard, we can have more good days than bad.

It took me several years to come to terms that I wasn’t a great mother by certain standards. And there are times when I slip and start to obsess about how I’m not a good mother. But most of the time, I aim to be a good enough mother, and so far, it’s been a good one for my four children.

Feeling Invisible?

"Am I invisible? Am I inaudible? Do I merely festoon the room with my presence?" as Christopher Fry was to ask in The Lady's Not for Burning.

I've never read the book or seen the play and probably never will, but I love that quote! It made me laugh out loud when I first read it.

Do you sometimes feel as if you aren't seen or as if no one is listening? Life is such a demanding clamor of people and things. We're pulled in a dozen directions at once, and feel both invisible and inaudible. Who sees who I really am? Who truly listens to what I have to say?

"Honey, I'm home!" translates "Is dinner ready? as husbands need us and expect much of us. "Mommy, where's my bunny? morphs into "Mom, what did you do with my red shirt?" as our children grow. And "Are you coming over? or "Have you called your sister yet?" from parents whose control we long ago thought we were out from under.

It's Time!

Our homes are full of bells and chimes, the washer, dryer, microwave, phones, all beckon us to race to them for attention. When the only warmth and welcome seems to come from a pot full of freshly perked coffee or the brisk scent of brewing tea or the comforting aroma of hot chocolate, maybe it's time to stop and take a break.

Of course, we don't merely festoon our homes with our presence. We are loved by our family and we have sweet glimpses of appreciation.

But what do you do if you feel invisible?

Stop and turn things around. Lift something more than a cup of coffee or a mug of hot chocolate or a glass of tea. There is One to whom you are never invisible or inaudible. Lift your eyes, lift a friend, lift your voice, lift up your soul.

Pray: Unto You I lift up my eyes, O You who dwell in the heavens. Psalm 123:1

Be there for a friend: For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:10

Sing: Your watchmen shall lift up their voices, with their voices they shall sing together . . . Isaiah 52:8a

Seek the Lord: Rejoice the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. Psalm 86:4

Praise: Lift up your hands in His Name: Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. Psalm 63:4

They shall lift up their voice, they shall sing;

for the majesty of the LORD they

shall cry aloud from the sea.

Isaiah 24:14

God knows your name and loves you: Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number; He calls them all by name, by the greatness of His might and the strength of His power; not one is missing. Isaiah 40:26

Allow God to lift you: Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10

Be uplifted in His peace: The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace. Numbers 6:26

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And here are a few quotes I've loved and leaned on for many years. I hope they will lift your spirits and help you to know without a doubt that you are never, ever invisible to the Creator of heaven and earth!

Theresa of Avila said:

"Our Lord does not care so much for the importance of our works

as for the love with which they are done."

From The Practice of the Presence of God--

"We can do little things for God. I turn the cake that is frying on the pan for the love of him; and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before him who has given me Grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king." Brother Lawrence

William Law wrote:

"What ever seeming calamity happens to you, if you thank God and praise him for it you turn it into a blessing."

John Oxenham wrote in Bees in Amber--

"Not for one single day

Can I discern my way,

But this I surely know--

Who gives the day,

Will show the way.

So I securely go."

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Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Philippians 4:4

All Scripture is from the New King James Version of the Bible

It's Time photograph was taken by my daughter, Deborah Sandidge

Photograph of the little girl with her hands raised is my great granddaughter, River.

She's standing in the surf, thrilled with that huge Atlantic Ocean before her.

Encouragement--for the Tired, Frustrated and Weary

My heart deflated when I opened up the blog calendar and saw Melissa—our totally awesome schedule lady—had scheduled me to blog about encouragement. For a moment I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, or to fly down to Kansas and strangle her.

Melissa, what were you thinking???

Then I reminded myself Melissa had scheduled me to do this post way back in February. So even Melissa, with all her wonderful Supermom powers (and trust me, Melissa has myriad Supermom powers), couldn’t have known that last week my dog would get skunked, my toddler would climb onto the table and start eating/playing in the brown sugar, my husband’s truck would break down, and last but not least, I would learn that I need to toss the majority of my new manuscript. The manuscript I’ve spent four months working on and have 50,000 words refined and polished. The manuscript I was hoping to finish in about six weeks. Yep that manuscript. So if the dog/skunk thing didn’t kill my week, the manuscript no-go surely did.

So how do you find encouragement when you have one of those dog-skunk days, or weeks, or months? The answer is as simple and basic as you can get.

Look to God.

Isaiah 40 is one of the most encouraging passages of Scripture. I love how the passage declares God's greatness and sovereignty. Verses 12-15 say:

Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance? Who hath directed the Spirit of the LORD, or being his counsellor hath taught him? With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and taught him knowledge, and shewed to him the way of understanding? Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing. (KJV)

But in spite of all the power God holds, that same chapter says God "shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."

So that same God, who holds power over the nations of this earth, also feeds his children like a shepherd and gathers them into his arms. And God doesn't stop there, He goes on to give strength to the weary. Look at verses 29-31:

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

So the next time you have one of those dog-skunk days, take a few moments to read Isaiah 40, and remember that 1. God is in control. 2. God loves and cares for you. And 3. God will give you strength, if you'll simply trust Him.

Now that you've all heard about my dog-skunk week, I'd like to hear about yours. Have you been facing trials lately that God has pulled you out of? Are you facing a trial today that seems like it might bury you? Leave a comment below. I'd love to see how God has been working in your lives.

Needing Encouragement (and finding it in the least likely place!)

Boy, what a month!

It all started August 26, 2011. I went to my sisters for what was to be a quick trip to pick up her CPU she was loaning me (because I've had this virus thing going on for simply ever). I had our newish (we got it in April) van legally parked on the street. As we were getting ready to leave and head for home, I hear this muffled sound and thought it was one of the neighborhood dogs, then someone knocked on the door. It was a neighbor alerting me to the fact that someone had just hit (and run) our van.Thankfully there were 3 witnesses and the guy was caught about an hour later. Way over the legal limit of .08 blood alcohol content, he blew a .206! We are also thankful he didn't hit anyone else (that we know of) or kill anyone. That was the beginning of my discouragement.

I was stressed, my children were traumatized. I got sick, my son wouldn't eat. We had to cancel a family trip. We were sinking into despair it seemed. Over what, I would later ask myself. I was angry, I had be wronged and I wanted everyone to know about it! And I wanted it fixed RIGHT NOW!

Something had to change! We could keep worrying over this problem.

I asked for encouragement from some of my sisters in faith and one offered me this verse:

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Ex 14:14.

Hold my peace?? Ouch! But I knew it was what I needed to hear. Not exactly the "encouragement" I was looking for though! My sister was wise and allowed the Father to speak through her, and I needed to listen.

So I kept repeating this verse to myself, over and over again those first few days. Then I laid my burden down, and went on with life. Instead of focusing on what had be done to us, to ME, I started listening to others and their struggles.

• One of my friends lost her husband, the father of her two children.
• Hundreds of people lost their homes to fires in Texas.
• People all over the northeast were flooded out.
  

So many more serious troubles than mine. So I prayed for others, instead of myself. Suddenly my problems weren't so important anymore. Vehicles can be replaced.

But who knew that it would be so difficult to get my vehicle fixed or even simply appraised? But alas, here were are 3 weeks past still without word from the other insurance company about fixing or replacing our van. So it seems my "troubles" are trying to sneak back up on me?

Isn't that the way it always is? Just when you think you're doing good, smack, here it comes again! I usually tend to pick my burdens up again (and sometimes again) after laying them down at the Master's feet. But I am determined to leave them lay this time!

I am encouraged by the fact that I do know that my Master is fighting my "battle" for me. I am thankful that I have lost little compared to what I still have! I am thankful that even in my moment of weakness and self-pity, He is still faithful!

So my friends, if and when you find yourself in a discouraging predicament, keep the faith, look around you, pray for others and let your worries melt away in the Sea of God's forgetfulness. It may be hard to do, but look to those who can truly offer you Godly advice, and heed it. For He cares for you.

Shifting Seasons

I LOVE Fall.

Really, I can’t think of enough ways to say this. And frankly, my husband wishes that I would stop trying to figure out new phrases to express my love affair with Autumn. He’s tired of hearing about it.

Last week, I warned him I was going to pull out the Fall decorations and beautify the house. He made some sort of vague response about the ridiculousness of putting out pumpkins when the temperature was almost 100 degrees. Then, wisely, he retreated to another room…far away from the ensuing decorating/rearranging madness.

I wasn’t going to wait a single day longer to prep for my favorite Season’s arrival. I didn’t care about the scorching temperatures, or the fact that it was barely the first of September and no where near the “official” beginning of Autumn. That’s because I wait through three other long phases of the year just to get to this one.

So what exactly does this have to do with anything—other than the fact that my obsessive love of all things yellow, orange, red, and/or pumpkin-like might indicate a need for some therapy?

Honestly, I’m not sure.

But I started thinking the other day that I don’t anticipate changes in my “life seasons” with nearly that kind of enthusiasm. On the contrary, I would go so far as to say that I detest changes—especially ones in my life. When I feel God pulling me one way, perhaps gently prompting me to prepare for a shift in the path my life is taking, I drag my feet, and sometimes pitch a fit. I like to be comfortable. Safe. Familiar.

And inevitably, when the changes come, I feel miserable at first. Because I haven’t been prayerful…or cooperative. Like a spoiled child, I’ve ignored the wisdom of my Father and have made the transition difficult.

But I wonder…

If I attacked everything in life with the same sort of enthusiasm as I do for things that I enjoy or that interest me (say, like, Fall?), I think it’d be much easier. Easier to glide from one place in life to another. From one day to another, even. It’s kind of a sobering thought to realize that, in hindsight, the bad periods in my life might not have been so terrible if my attitude were a little more joyful. Or trusting.

So, as I set out literally the 531st pumpkin figurine in my house, I’m thinking I might try to do better on prepping for other—personal—changes…upcoming Seasons in life. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually enjoy the change if I’m not too busy grumbling about it.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Bring out the best: Robes, Rings, and Sandals

But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.’ (Luke 15:22 NKJV)

You are the Lord's special treasure*. The Father brings out the best for you.

Last May, Naomi** told us her story about finding a ring when she was a little girl on a walk with her mother and grandmother. Her story brought back memories of several ring stories I have. Rings have been milestone markers during my life and marriage, and this story is about the ring that marks my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

I really enjoy rings. They're beautiful and fun, and they have their place in the schemes of things. They are a signet, a sign for me. Every ring I wear has meaning and reminds me of a story behind it. But rings are simply things. The rings on my fingers are re-creations of all that is God's. He created the beauty of rubies and the brilliance of diamonds and the subtle gleam of gold. If it were not for Him, rings wouldn't circle my fingers at all. To me, they're tiny reflections, reminders of His glory.

Speaking of glory, this little tale tales place in Loafers Glory, North Carolina, in June of 1999. Loafers Glory is a tiny place that had its fifteen minutes of fame in the 70s as a feature of the National Geographic magazine. But it's also a place I've spent many wonderful summers.

On the way to pick up a pizza in nearby Bakersville, my husband, Jerry, and I planned to stop by the recycle center to take the trash and recyclables. We'd been painting the house and my hands felt dry and chapped. So just before we reached the recycle center, I took off my ruby ring and laid it in my lap for a moment to put lotion on my hands. (Yes, that's definitely an "Oh, no!" moment.) Distracted as we drove into the center, I totally forgot that I hadn't put it back on. The ring was hidden in the folds of my long sundress as I got out of the van to drop off the trash and bottles. We waved and spoke to Paul, the older man in charge of the center, and I never heard a sound as the ring fell from my dress onto the driveway. We did what we came to do and left.

Deep breath and long pause . . .

It wasn't until we returned home, finished our pizza, and began to relax, that I suddenly realized my ring was gone! I did a frantic pocket and purse search and did remember to pray. And it's a blessing to look back, because when I recall all that happened, those fervent prayers coincided with the time it was found. (I really do try hard to remember to pray about everything!)

In the midst of searching the van, I vividly recalled the moment when I must have lost it. So, back to the recycle center we drove, squealing tires and all (I can just see my guardian angel above us with wildly flapping angel-wings, panting to keep up with us!), where I searched the hot tarmac to no avail. I was devastated until Paul looked over at me-with-my-nose-to-the-ground, searching, and grinned. "Did you lose something?" He pulled out a business card and handed it to me. It could have been gold-plated, I was so thrilled! Well, poor guy, Paul found himself on the receiving end of a joyful hug and a bunch of appreciation. He just grinned from ear-to-ear and chuckled.

But I still had to claim my ring. A young woman, I'll call her Mary, who'd just lost her husband the week before, found it. She later told us that she'd prayed about what to do. She had her business cards with her an decided to write a note on the care: Found, lost ring. Call and describe. Then she left the card with Paul. She'd seen the ring in the recycle center driveway, sparkling in the afternoon sunshine, and thought some little girl must have lost her Cracker Jack® box ring. But when she picked it up and looked closer, she quickly realized that it was certainly no Cracker Jack® box ring!

And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!' (Luke 15:9 NKJV)

I called Mary and left her an excited message that I was the ring's owner. She later returned my call to verify that the ring was mine, and Jerry and I drove up to her home at the tip-top of a mountain. Mary was as happy as I was, and since no way would she accept a reward, the Gideons ended up handing out some Bibles in her honor and name. We drove home, marveling at the gorgeous sunset, thankful and elated to have found that which was lost.

Be encouraged! God is in the details of our lives, caring for us in all things, great and small.

O LORD, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, for You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth. (Isaiah 25:1 NKJV)

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* Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine. (Exodus 19:5 NKJV)

* Naomi Rawlings, Encouragement for Mothers and Daughters, May 16, 2011 Making Home Work Blog

Everyday heroes

I couldn't think of a better day than Aunt Lois' birthday on July 27 to write about encouragement.

From the time I was a little girl, my earliest - and best - memories always involved Aunt Lois. My mom's older sister, Aunt Lois had the coolest toys: gobs of crayons and paints. Reams of blank computer paper and blank accounts receivable forms which she brought home in boxes from her job at the dairy, rescued from the throwaway pile. Dolls and dusty old dress-up clothes in a real wooden, mirrored wardrobe. A brand-new (ancient now, ha ha) Atari computer with Frogger and Pac-Man when my family could barely afford a TV.

Christmases were a dream creation courtesy of Aunt Lois. All seven of us cousins, all girls, counted the days until her Christmas feasts of pumpkin and cherry pies, sugar-baked ham, home-canned green beans and corn, and fresh homemade yeast rolls. Presents for all of us in the latest toy crazes, from Cabbage Patch Kids to LoLo Balls (if you remember what those were). Christmas music piped in the ancient hi-fi. A tree with lights. Surprises galore.

A photo of all of us little cousins in nightgowns and footed pajamas, piled on one armchair around her as she read us a book.

Rainbow sherbet in the summer before bed and no clean-up chores and Pop-Tarts for breakfast (TOTALLY not allowed in my healthy household) and WE COULD GET UP AND GET DRESSED WHENEVER WE WANTED TO, and didn't have to set the table!

Aunt Lois' closet, even, dazzled me with its piles of shoe boxes, endless sandals and work dresses, and all kinds of trinkets from years gone by. Which she let me paw through in curiosity, the coral and brown skirts falling together over my head like curtains.

I always though her chic, smart, and fun - and wished, quite often, that I could have her as a second mom. And maybe move in!

Aunt Lois with my son, Ethan, 2010

And yet through it all, Aunt Lois was always there, holding out open arms. For you see, Aunt Lois had no children of her own. No husband. No house of her own, even. Just the upstairs floor of my Mennonite grandfather's house. The house he built himself, from his own plans, even with an amputated right arm - the green lawn full of verdant apple and peach trees, rows of shivering corn leaves, and blackberry vines.

None of this I understood fully until I became a young woman, looking back on those radiant younger years of unfettered glee.

And little by little, like a blurred picture slipping into focus, I could see her clearly.

What most people might consider horrific spoiling (!) was, from her perspective, a gift of grace and freedom in our otherwise rather hard lives. Outside of Aunt Lois' lavish extravagance, I daily faced finacial and other troubles at home, bullying at school, cruel and humiliating teachers, snubs at church other wealthier girls, my mom and sister with life-threatening health problems, no close friends, living far from extended family, moves and bad adjustments, death of family members, and other difficulties. So many changes. So little security.

As I look back now, I realize that Aunt Lois was not wealthy at all! It hit me, when I began to understand life a bit better, that Aunt Lois was just an ordinary woman at a dairy. She battled thyroid problems that almost permanently destroyed her stomach, with no help from anyone else, and so many misdiagnoses that the disease could have killed her. She cooked for her (sometimes difficult but wonderful) father, lived in her hometown among married relatives and wagging tongues, canned peaches and hung clothes, and worshipped God quietly at the small Mennonite church where her brothers and sisters married. And she created a world for us, a softer world, a refuge from the pains and difficulties of life.

And the biggest shock of all, that has stunned me well into my adult years: AUNT LOIS NEVER GAVE WAY TO BITTERNESS, JEALOUSY, OR RESENTMENT.

If it were me, I would not receive my (married) siblings' children with such grace and so many gifts. I married at nearly 28 years old, so I know a little of what the single life is like. Instead of responding with grace, if I were in Aunt Lois' shoes I would sit stiffly to the side, bitter at God and wondering why THEY got to marry and have children while I didn't. What, does He think they're better, or something? Does He think I'd be a terrible parent or a lousy wife? Does everybody think I was washed up, or too (insert negative word here) to get married or raise a family? Well, they're certainly not going to get any of MY money. MY time. MY anything. Let them spend Christmas somewhere else!

No, Aunt Lois chose to serve with grace.

If she felt cheated, she never let on. If she heard others whispering behind her back, she never acknowledged it, shrank back in humiliation, or clambered to defend herself. If she felt lonely and childless, she wrapped her arms around us and gave us the gift of lavish love.

Even now, with Aunt Lois now well into her 60s, I look to her as one of my great heros.

Why? Because she proves that one need not be what society demands to change your world. You don't have to have children. You don't have to have a college education. You don't have to be married. You don't have to have good health. You don't even have to go on a mission trip (although it's great if you can) or serve overseas or study theology.

You simply GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST, as it is, a broken vessel - and allow Him to use you however He sees fit.

You see, not long after those golden years in Aunt Lois' house, which had become my childhood dream home, my mom passed away unexpectedly on a cold February afternoon. And the one who stepped into the void was none other than Aunt Lois.

Aunt Lois helped me put on my wedding dress and pin on the veil. Aunt Lois held my beautiful adopted baby boy and sends him birthday cards. Aunt Lois helped arrange his baby shower, sewed him a homemade tractor quilt, and passes on the news about the cute things he says and does. Aunt Lois, who got laid off from the dairy and spends most of her meager income as a nursing home schedule coordinator on medical bills, pays $30 every single month so she can call me nightly in Brazil - the only one in my entire extended family to ever do this.

The baby shower Aunt Lois created with my mom's extended family in Newport News, Virginia, in 2010.

No matter where I moved, whether as an intern in Atlanta or a college student in North Carolina or my first job in Richmond, Virginia, or my mission post in Sapporo, Japan, or with my husband to two different states in Brazil, Aunt Lois NEVER failed to send me a birthday and Christmas card.

When I needed a mom, she was there.

And GOD put here there. "For such a time as this."

Aunt Lois helping me with my wedding gown and veil.

Friend, mother, sister, daughter, or wife: God can use you in ways you never expected! Do not think your life is of little value if you have few people to call family or few skills the world appreciates. Neither think yourself of great value if you have all of these and more.

Rather ask God to USE YOU for HIS GLORY, and AT ANY COST - and submit your life to His.

And by doing this, you will have lived, and loved, and served, far greater and impacted more lives for eternity, than you could possibly imagine.

Jennifer Rogers Spinola lives in Brasilia, Brazil with her Brazilian husband, Athos, and two-year-old son, Ethan. She often wondered growing up and into her teens, and then into her late 20s, if she'd ever get married! Jenny teaches ESL private classes and is the author of Barbour Books' "Southern Fried Sushi" series (first book released in October!) and an upcoming romance novella collection based on Yellowstone National Park (also with Barbour Books).

When Less truly becomes More {And Kidney Bean Curry Recipe}

"I like this kidney beans." My preschooler says over a bowl of rice and bean curry.

I look at my son's turmeric stained face and toothy grin. Did He just say he likes rice and beans? Our boring weekly staple?

"You like it?"

"Yummy."

My preschooler shovels spoonfuls into his mouth, and when he's done, he holds up his bowl for more.

More? Doesn't he want meat?

No, I want meat. I can taste fresh beef tenderloin. My mouth waters. All of a sudden I want everything else {even my baby's puréed mangoes} over plain ol' kidney beans.

I dish another helping into my little boy's bowl and watch him eat. He hums a merry tune while his baby brother bangs a wooden spoon on his highchair. They're so content {right now}. My boys' delight in simple pleasures tugs my conscience.

When is the last time I really savored this nutritious and delicious dish like my preschooler? When is the last time I truly enjoyed today like my baby?

Over the past five years, as my hubby's slogged through grad school, I've dreamed about the day I won't have to count pennies, apply for scholarships, clip coupons, make my own toxic-free cleaners, save for months just to buy household items, or eat legumes all.the.time.

The day I kiss our student budget goodbye and embrace a better {more prosperous?} tomorrow.

But in five years of looking ahead, I've seen that tomorrow never comes. And with our family's plans to move overseas in a few years, I can't count on an improved standard of living. The truth is if I'm not content now, I won't be when the year turns over. For, when tomorrow arrives, it will be today.

When I live in the future, I miss the here. The now.

There a moments I experience grace, and it's right now over a simple lunch. Today, I choose to give thanks.

"Thank you, God, for Kidney bean curry."

My simple prayer opens my eyes. Could it be this small space, our meager funds, this nutritious dish are blessings in disguise?

Oh yes, our space is cramped, but our family is close. Our funds budget-chained, but we're too-much-stuff-it's-stressing-me-out free. Our meals are simple {healthy}, but our bodies nourished well.

Could it be God's giving us what we really need. What we truly desire? More of Him and the things that matter? Less of this world? Could it be that in simple living, less truly becomes more?

My son cleans out his bowl faster than I can count blessings. My baby grins his two-tooth smile. And for the first time in awhile, I want more kidney beans too.

***
Kidney Bean Curry
A Delicious & Nourishing Indian Dish

Ingredients
3-4 tbls. oil
1 medium onion chopped
1 cup crushed tomatoes (or diced)
1/2 tsp minced garlic
1-2 tsp grated ginger (the more the better:))
1/4 tsp turmeric
1 heaping tsp garam masala (found in Indian grocery stores or perhaps International section of your local grocery)
2 cans kidney beans (don't drain)
cilantro

Directions
Fry onions in large pot until translucent (about five minutes). Add ginger, garlic and tumeric, fry for one minute. Add tomatoes and remaining spices. Let simmer for ten minutes until oil separates from spices. Add kidney beans and salt to taste. If there isn't enough curry, add a little water. Simmer for 1/2 hour and serve with Basmati or Jasmine rice. Garnish with Cilantro.

Optional: add a variety of vegetables. I added grated carrots, and roasted red peppers. To learn how to roast a red pepper click here Sometimes I add spinach.

Note: I didn't have crushed tomatoes so I used tomato juice. This will work just fine, but to get a thick curry, it's best to use crushed tomatoes.

How has less become more in your life?

Join me on October 21st for tips on living simply

Melanie N Brasher is a full time mama of two boys and wife to an incredible husband. She moonlights as a fiction and freelance writer, crafting stories and articles toward justice and change, and dreams of becoming a voice for the unheard. She’s a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and a contributing blogger at Hoosier Ink. Though she’s an aspiring author, she’ll never quit her day job.

Encouraging

My blog for today is about encouraging. Just last week, I didn't know how I was going to blog about being encouraging when I was the one needing it so badly. I had mentioned it to a couple of other women who blog here and I know they were praying and also told me if I didn't feel like it, I could blog about something else. Up until yesterday at church, I wasn't sure I was going to blog but I got this magazine that they give out weekly called Pentecostal Evangel: Finding Strength in Scripture. On page 20, they ask people what favorite passage of Scripture they would suggest as comfort to someone in need. I knew instantly that this is what I was supposed to blog about.

Isaiah 41:10- So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.

1 Peter 5:7- Casting all your care upon Him, for he cares for you.
We don't have to hold back anything from the Lord. No matter how insignificant the need may seem or how insurmountable it may appear, He care and wants to be our answer.

Matthew 11:28- Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

We pray for immediate results. They don't always come. Difficult family matters, financial challenges, and disturbing health issues can linger. While praying and anticipating answers, we need to rest in Jesus.

Psalm 62:1- My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

1 Corinthians 13:12- Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Our thoughts shape our feelings and actions. Sometimes when we're distressed, we want to know why things are happening to us. A better question is when. At the present time, we don't and can't know everything. But someday, when all is revealed, we'll see that what's really important is that God has known all along.

Scripture has really helped me, and I hope it helps you. Nothing is too big for God, and I have much faith and am counting on God to fix and heal things in my life. I hope you seek God's face and rely on him for all your problems no matter how big or small.

An Interview with Trish Perry ~ Day Two

Hello everyone, welcome to Day Two of our interview with author Trish Perry. Trish has penned nine inspirational romances, including two released this year.

Okay, I won't keep you in suspense about the strange incident that happened to Trish. I asked her:

Have you had any funny or strange incidents happen during the writing or researching of any of your novels?

Here's an eerie moment for you. Before I started writing romance, I wrote a spiritual warfare novel. I'd still like to publish it someday, but it will probably have to be under a different name because it's so different from my "branded" writing. Anyway, part of the story takes place at a small Civil War cemetery that's set rather deeply in the woods, and I visited the site for research. I was there smack in the middle of the day, but I was the only person there--not even a park ranger in sight. In my novel the story takes a creepy turn in that cemetery, so I was already a little on edge. But suddeny I realized how vulnerable I was there, alone, in the woods. I got shivers, and the hair stood up on my arms, I felt it was really important for me to gete out of there, so much so that I ended up breaking into a run. Whether that leading was from God or my own active imagination didn't matter. I scooted!

That would have been enough to send me flying out of there too! I hope you will finish and publish that story one day soon.

Making Home Work is all about moms staying at home, caring for their families, raising their children, writing, and contributing to the family income. You've successfully raised two children, Trish, have you any ideas or advice on juggling schedules for mothers who love to write but are busy with home and family?

Oh, mercy, I remember feeling time was just racing by during those child-rearing years of writing. I'd hear about authors like Danielle Steele, who was the queen of juggling writing and children, and I'd feel like such a failure. Great gaps of time would go by without my writing a thing. I worried I wasn't a true writer because I didn't stay up until 3:00 a.m. to write while my family slept. Honey, I needed sleep too!

But as my kids got older, they got easier, and I started to find more pockets of time to write here and there. Once I finally got my first book contract, I realized how much more stressful life would have been, had I received the contract earlier, while my kids needed me more.

So my advice is simple: chill. Put your kids ahead of your writing. I don't care what anyone else says, they are your great life's work. Your investment of time in their young lives will reap rewards that last far longer than any buzz you'll get from publishing a book. God knows when your life--and your family--will be ready for that next step in your writing career. Trust Him. Write when you can, and trust Him.

Hearing that you once felt the same pressure that lots of young mothers feel, and having the reminder that time doesn't stand still--that the day will come when there will be more time, is a big, reassuring encouragement!

And here are my last two questions before we put on the coffee and tea and get to dessert!

What book do you have coming out next?

I released Unforgettable (Summerside Press) at the same time as Tea for Two and the next thing out (in September) is Love Finds You on Christmas Morning, featuring 'Tis the Season, my contemporary novella that links with Debby Mayne's historical novella.

I'm looking forward to reading Unforgettable. Exciting news about your September release!

And my last question. What are you working on now?

Right now I'm writing Labor of Love, another novella, for the Barbour collection called The Midwife's Legacy (March 2012). I'm having fun doing the research on that one!

With novellas so popular right now this one sounds both fun and fascinating. Blessings on your new books and congratulations on all your successes, Trish!

Okay guests and resident bloggers, coffee's perked, tea is steeped . . . now for dessert . . . and there's no pre-heating the oven here!

Chocolate Mousse Cake

Ingredients:

6 ounces crushed malt balls

8.8 ounce container mascarpone cheese

7 ounces heavy cream, whipped

3 seven ounce packages white chocolate & Macadamia cookies

1 cup Bailey's Irish cream liqueur (for non-alcoholic version use Irish Creme coffee creamer)

Chocolate mousse:

10 ounces chopped dark chocolate

2 eggs (room temperature)

1/4 cup caster sugar (very fine granulated sugar)

3/4 cup heavy cream, whipped

Directions:

Make chocolate mousse--

• In a microwave-safe bowl, microwave chopped chocolate until almost melted, stirring after each minute. Set aside to cool slightly.
• Beat eggs and caster sugar with electric beater for five minutes.
• Stir in cooled chocolate.
• Fold in 3/4 cup whipped cream.
• Refrigerate until needed.

Set aside 1/4 cup crushed malt balls.

Fold together mascarpone, 7 ounces whipped cream, and remaining malt balls. Remove the base of an 8-inch spring form pan and place the ring on a large serving plate (ring will serve as a mold for the cake). Cut a strip of parchment paper and line side of ring. Dip cookies, one at a time, into liqueur and place in single layer in mold to cover base. Spread half mascarpone mixture over cookies. Top with another layer of cookies dipped in liqueur.

Spread chocolate mousse over cookies. Top with one more layer of cookies dipped in liqueur. Spread remaining mascarpone mixture over cookies and sprinkle with the 1/4 cup reserved malt balls.

Cover and refrigerate overnight. Then remove spring form, peel away parchment paper, cut, and serve.

Here's the beautiful book cover of Trish Perry's new novel, Unforgettable.

And a little about the story:

Rachel Stanhope tries to see the good in everyone. But even her good graces are challenged when she meets Josh Reegan outside her Arlington, Virginia dance studio on a brisk fall morning in 1951. Admittedly, he's attractive, but she finds his cynicism and cockiness hard to tolerate.

A hard-news journalist and former World War II Air Force pilot, Josh considers distractions like ballroom dancing frivolous wastes of time. He has yet to shed his wartime drive to defend good against evil whenever he can. Yes, Rachel's confident nature is a refreshing challenge, but he wouldn't tangle with her if his newspaper hadn't roped him into covering one of her studio's competitions in New York City.

Between Arlington and New York, between the melodrama of ballroom antics and the real drama of political corruption, between family involvement and romantic entanglement, Rachel and Josh have their hands full. The last thing either of them expects is mutual need and support. But once they stop dancing around the truth, the results are unforgettable.

Trish invites you to visit her at: http://www.TrishPerry.com

Many thanks, Trish, for a generous and interesting interview and for the yummy Chocolate Mousse Cake recipe. We appreciate everything you've shared with us.

Thanks to: Deb Sandidge, for the use of her photomontage of a cemetery.