Everyday heroes

I couldn't think of a better day than Aunt Lois' birthday on July 27 to write about encouragement.

From the time I was a little girl, my earliest - and best - memories always involved Aunt Lois. My mom's older sister, Aunt Lois had the coolest toys: gobs of crayons and paints. Reams of blank computer paper and blank accounts receivable forms which she brought home in boxes from her job at the dairy, rescued from the throwaway pile. Dolls and dusty old dress-up clothes in a real wooden, mirrored wardrobe. A brand-new (ancient now, ha ha) Atari computer with Frogger and Pac-Man when my family could barely afford a TV.

Christmases were a dream creation courtesy of Aunt Lois. All seven of us cousins, all girls, counted the days until her Christmas feasts of pumpkin and cherry pies, sugar-baked ham, home-canned green beans and corn, and fresh homemade yeast rolls. Presents for all of us in the latest toy crazes, from Cabbage Patch Kids to LoLo Balls (if you remember what those were). Christmas music piped in the ancient hi-fi. A tree with lights. Surprises galore.

A photo of all of us little cousins in nightgowns and footed pajamas, piled on one armchair around her as she read us a book.

Rainbow sherbet in the summer before bed and no clean-up chores and Pop-Tarts for breakfast (TOTALLY not allowed in my healthy household) and WE COULD GET UP AND GET DRESSED WHENEVER WE WANTED TO, and didn't have to set the table!

Aunt Lois' closet, even, dazzled me with its piles of shoe boxes, endless sandals and work dresses, and all kinds of trinkets from years gone by. Which she let me paw through in curiosity, the coral and brown skirts falling together over my head like curtains.

I always though her chic, smart, and fun - and wished, quite often, that I could have her as a second mom. And maybe move in!

Aunt Lois with my son, Ethan, 2010

And yet through it all, Aunt Lois was always there, holding out open arms. For you see, Aunt Lois had no children of her own. No husband. No house of her own, even. Just the upstairs floor of my Mennonite grandfather's house. The house he built himself, from his own plans, even with an amputated right arm - the green lawn full of verdant apple and peach trees, rows of shivering corn leaves, and blackberry vines.

None of this I understood fully until I became a young woman, looking back on those radiant younger years of unfettered glee.

And little by little, like a blurred picture slipping into focus, I could see her clearly.

What most people might consider horrific spoiling (!) was, from her perspective, a gift of grace and freedom in our otherwise rather hard lives. Outside of Aunt Lois' lavish extravagance, I daily faced finacial and other troubles at home, bullying at school, cruel and humiliating teachers, snubs at church other wealthier girls, my mom and sister with life-threatening health problems, no close friends, living far from extended family, moves and bad adjustments, death of family members, and other difficulties. So many changes. So little security.

As I look back now, I realize that Aunt Lois was not wealthy at all! It hit me, when I began to understand life a bit better, that Aunt Lois was just an ordinary woman at a dairy. She battled thyroid problems that almost permanently destroyed her stomach, with no help from anyone else, and so many misdiagnoses that the disease could have killed her. She cooked for her (sometimes difficult but wonderful) father, lived in her hometown among married relatives and wagging tongues, canned peaches and hung clothes, and worshipped God quietly at the small Mennonite church where her brothers and sisters married. And she created a world for us, a softer world, a refuge from the pains and difficulties of life.

And the biggest shock of all, that has stunned me well into my adult years: AUNT LOIS NEVER GAVE WAY TO BITTERNESS, JEALOUSY, OR RESENTMENT.

If it were me, I would not receive my (married) siblings' children with such grace and so many gifts. I married at nearly 28 years old, so I know a little of what the single life is like. Instead of responding with grace, if I were in Aunt Lois' shoes I would sit stiffly to the side, bitter at God and wondering why THEY got to marry and have children while I didn't. What, does He think they're better, or something? Does He think I'd be a terrible parent or a lousy wife? Does everybody think I was washed up, or too (insert negative word here) to get married or raise a family? Well, they're certainly not going to get any of MY money. MY time. MY anything. Let them spend Christmas somewhere else!

No, Aunt Lois chose to serve with grace.

If she felt cheated, she never let on. If she heard others whispering behind her back, she never acknowledged it, shrank back in humiliation, or clambered to defend herself. If she felt lonely and childless, she wrapped her arms around us and gave us the gift of lavish love.

Even now, with Aunt Lois now well into her 60s, I look to her as one of my great heros.

Why? Because she proves that one need not be what society demands to change your world. You don't have to have children. You don't have to have a college education. You don't have to be married. You don't have to have good health. You don't even have to go on a mission trip (although it's great if you can) or serve overseas or study theology.

You simply GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST, as it is, a broken vessel - and allow Him to use you however He sees fit.

You see, not long after those golden years in Aunt Lois' house, which had become my childhood dream home, my mom passed away unexpectedly on a cold February afternoon. And the one who stepped into the void was none other than Aunt Lois.

Aunt Lois helped me put on my wedding dress and pin on the veil. Aunt Lois held my beautiful adopted baby boy and sends him birthday cards. Aunt Lois helped arrange his baby shower, sewed him a homemade tractor quilt, and passes on the news about the cute things he says and does. Aunt Lois, who got laid off from the dairy and spends most of her meager income as a nursing home schedule coordinator on medical bills, pays $30 every single month so she can call me nightly in Brazil - the only one in my entire extended family to ever do this.

The baby shower Aunt Lois created with my mom's extended family in Newport News, Virginia, in 2010.

No matter where I moved, whether as an intern in Atlanta or a college student in North Carolina or my first job in Richmond, Virginia, or my mission post in Sapporo, Japan, or with my husband to two different states in Brazil, Aunt Lois NEVER failed to send me a birthday and Christmas card.

When I needed a mom, she was there.

And GOD put here there. "For such a time as this."

Aunt Lois helping me with my wedding gown and veil.

Friend, mother, sister, daughter, or wife: God can use you in ways you never expected! Do not think your life is of little value if you have few people to call family or few skills the world appreciates. Neither think yourself of great value if you have all of these and more.

Rather ask God to USE YOU for HIS GLORY, and AT ANY COST - and submit your life to His.

And by doing this, you will have lived, and loved, and served, far greater and impacted more lives for eternity, than you could possibly imagine.

Jennifer Rogers Spinola lives in Brasilia, Brazil with her Brazilian husband, Athos, and two-year-old son, Ethan. She often wondered growing up and into her teens, and then into her late 20s, if she'd ever get married! Jenny teaches ESL private classes and is the author of Barbour Books' "Southern Fried Sushi" series (first book released in October!) and an upcoming romance novella collection based on Yellowstone National Park (also with Barbour Books).

Review: "Just Do Something"

Subtitled "OR How To Make A Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing In The Sky, Etc."

Amy, a missionary friend of mine, first piqued my interest with this book about a year ago when she reviewed it on Facebook. She mentioned that she found the premise--"just do something"--liberating as a Christian woman who has always struggled with knowing God's will and feeling paralyzed about it.

As soon as I read her post, I felt an instant kinship, because I've always had trouble with making decisions. Every major choice in my life--from which college to go to and which major to choose, serving as a missionary, to knowing where to go once I'd committed to serving(Japan or Brazil?), to deciding which guy was right to develop a relationship with or marry (!) has always caused anguish, sleepless nights, and lots of tears.

I should known by the impressively goofy cover (a guy in plaid chucking horseshoes) that the style of the author would be light-hearted and easy to read, but the clearly written text and brevity of "Just Do Something"--plus the foreward by someone as well-known and fairly orthodox as Joshua Harris--made this book a surprising read.

I think I devoured it all in one sitting.

The main premise of author Kevin DeYoung, senior pastor of University Reformed Church in East Lansing, Michigan, is that sometimes Christians try too hard to uncover a will of God that we think must be cryptic, hidden, and dreadfully difficult to discover. And instead of simply making good choices and "do(ing) the hard work of seeing those choices through," DeYoung suggests that we rely on other more ephemeral means like dreams, visions, signs, or "feelings."

The book is organized with ten short, punchy chapters with titles like, "Our Magic 8-Ball God," and "Weork, Wedlock, and God's Will" -- which kept me turning pages one right after another. I especially liked DeYoung's comments and interviews with his grandfather, whose generation raised him with quite a different approach to life and finding God's will, and didn't "hyper-spiritualize his every move." It definitely caused me to stop and consider where my own set of "finding God's will" beliefs came from--from Scripture? From the churches I was raised in? From my own thoughts about spirituality? A mix of them all?

The book was far from being staunchly literal, and suggesting that God does not speak through signs or dreams, and the author assures us that God indeed does work this way, both in Scripture and our lives today. I was also pleased to see that the author didn't denigrate other beliefs or spiritual activities (like dreams, visions, or putting out fleeces), and he also included viewpoints that were quite different for his.

In the end, I found "Just Do Something" to be a liberating book--like my friend Amy did--and one that has stayed in my mind for months since I first read it. Even if it's not your cup of tea or you think differently than DeYoung, I'd definitely recommend it as a bouncing-off point for focusing your thoughts and beliefs and considering another perspective.

For me, this will definitely be one of those (few) books that will make the journey from Brazil when we transition back to the U.S.


Jennifer Rogers Spinola lives in Brasilia, Brazil with her Brazilian husband, Athos, and two-year-old son, Ethan. She never in her wildest dreams thought she'd spend seven years in South America. Jenny teaches ESL private classes and is the author of Barbour Books' "Southern Fried Sushi" series (first book released in October!) and an upcoming romance novella collection based on Yellowstone National Park (also with Barbour Books).

Write-More Tips for Busy Moms!

Since Ethan arrived in 2009, my long days of writing are over. Unless he's out at the park with Athos on a weekend, and even then, I've got to pick up clothes off the floor, wash diapers, clean the streaks he made off the glass, buy bananas, pick up toys... and so on.






If you're a writer without children and reading this, ENJOY YOUR TIME! Write all you can, because it might end soon.

If you've got a two-year-old like I do, or maybe more than one or two kids, you've got to be extra-creative because they won't just lie on a blanket anymore and play with toys while you happily type away. As we say in the South, "that dog won't hunt!"

Here are some tips that have helped take me through three full-length novels (100,000+ word count each) in ONE YEAR:

1. Shower at night. Then when he sleeps during the day, you can use your time to write rather than dry your hair.

2. Peg at least half of his naptime for writing. Fix it in your mind or write it in an agenda. I don't set an actual time count, because I never know exactly how long Ethan's going to sleep. But I estimate and try to write at least half the time he sleeps. That means about one hour per day, since he only sleeps around two hours. In fact, most of the time I spend Ethan's *entire* naptime writing and clean when he wakes - while he helps me!

3. Write early in the morning. I find my creative juices flow better if I start writing before he wakes up (I know, it's hard... Ethan sometimes wakes up at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m., and we are TIRED!). But the reason for early writing is two-fold: 1) Your mind is less cluttered from stuff ("Don't put the shoe in the toilet!") and 2) you can continue to plot and think of story details, even lines, while you do your daily work. More often than not I find my lines fixing themselves, or the breakthrough I need in plot, while I'm changing diapers or standing over a pot of spaghetti. (Just preferably not at the same time).

4. A side note: This also works for Bible readings, too! I like to read and pray quickly in the early morning, if I can get up before Ethan wakes up, or if not, as soon as he takes his morning nap. Then write. Then you can have both of them flowing in your veins the rest of the day. Or until he drops a basting brush down inside his bed, and you forget everything else. (This actually happened).

5. Try to stay up and write at least 30 minutes before you go to bed. My mind is pretty much shot at this point, but the more I sit there, there are still a few ideas that sneak into my brain. Athos and I like to end weekdays by sitting on the sofa together, he with his international politics book and me with my laptop. If nothing else, reading over what I've written during the day, or brainstorming for titles (this is how all my titles "Southern Fried Sushi" happened, in a beat-up spiral notebook). Just a little focus can get a few last gasps out of your tired brain.

6. Write something - anything! Even if you can't write the novel you're currently working on, write something. Journal. Write down a recipe. Do some writing exercises from a writing craft book like "The Art of War," an absolute wonder book. Create lists of suitable names and last names for characters, or a bank to choose from - like "Mennonite names" and "Redneck names," both real examples open in my laptop right now. See? You're already thinking it: So what if there was a redneck Mennonite? What would he be called? Would he wear suspenders? What if he was out plowing his field, looking for love and his lost heifer, and...

7. If you're too tired to write, and I understand this (Ethan's first year was EXHAUSTING), then read. Read books in your genre, or a genre you'd like to write, and then think/write about what you liked and didn't like. What you could use in your own books, like a well-developed character, a verb tense, a style, a... something. Or read a good craft book like "The Art of War."

8. Don't get distracted by email. Try to write with the Internet OFF or you'll probably just morph over into Facebook and forget what on earth you were trying to work on, and did she write back yet? Do you think she's read your post? And what was the name of that actress on...? (Are you believing me yet?)

9. Snatch bits and pieces of time to write - while your child is in the bath, while you're in the car riding to the in-laws' house, or sitting in the empty conference room waiting for your students to arrive before you teach a class. WRITE! Open your laptop, reach for your writing notebook, or grab a sheet of paper and start putting down paragraphs or ideas. No place for a laptop? Then brainstorm titles on a piece of paper (all the titles for my "Southern Fried Sushi" books came this way), or plot out your next book chapter by chapter. Write ABOUT your book as if explaining it to someone else, and watch the unsolved twists suddenly straighten themselves out. And if you've got no pen or paper, THINK through the plots while staring out the car window or stirring that spaghetti. You'll be surprised how much you can invent/create/fix just by focusing your thoughts on what you're writing (or want to write)!


10. Incorporate a "down time" into your kids' afternoon or morning - in addition to his nap. Ethan sleeps late in the morning, so I've built a one-hour rest time into his afternoon schedule - rest for him, and rest for me! He doesn't sleep, but he plays his crib or bed quietly with toys while the microwave timer goes for one hour. (Older kids could just stay quietly in their rooms). We worked with this gradually from little up using the "blanket time" method, starting with five minutes, with some gentle reinforcement and rewards for obeying. Now he actually looks forward to his quiet time and is cranky if he doesn't get it. And what do I do while he's playing quietly with tractors? Go in my room, shut the door, and WRITE!

Happy writing!


Jennifer Rogers Spinola is an ESL teacher and author of Barbour Books' "Southern Fried Sushi" series - her first book released this October! Jenny lives in Brasilia, Brazil, with her husband and two-year-old son, Ethan, and has a sore throat, a mess in the kitchen, and burned sausages in the fridge. Today's net writing time? An astounding three hours. See more of Jenny's crazy life at http://www.jenniferrogersspinola.com/ and click on BLOG!

Work side-by-side!

One of the best things I've ever learned about child-raising is to do everything together!

From baking bread to washing dishes to making the bed, you name it, Ethan's right in there with me, sleeves rolled up, covered with dough, sopping wet. And he's been doing all of this since he was old enough to walk--perhaps even before that!



So many times I see kids cloistered off in rooms full of toys to "play" all day. "Stay out of the kitchen!" and, "Don't bother Mama - she's busy!" or, "She's too young to do that." Is she really too young? Or are her parents too busy (or stressed) to take the time to show her how to properly use it, or get a little water on the floor while she experiments?

Doing simple household chores with your sons and daughters (rather than playing all day with artificial toys in an artificial environment) not only teaches your children how to learn and follow directions, but it brings them into the partnership of family--a family who wants them, needs them, and most importantly, values their help and support.

In fact, most of the time Ethan would much rather help me in the kitchen than play with any of his toys!



His favorite chores that he begs to do? Washing dishes and cleaning the toilet. Why? Because we work together, step-by-step, side-by-side, while I explain to him every step of the way: "Put the brush in there like that. Good! Now watch, because if the bleach gets on your clothes, it'll stain."

Imagine my husband's surprise when he came home from work one evening and Ethan (two years old) pointed the container and said, "Bleach," and then demostrated--with excited gestures--how to clean the toilet, and begged to do it again!

Does it take me longer to finish our work? YES. Do I occasionally end up with bigger messes than I started with? Absolutely. Working with children is a slow and messy process, often requiring prayers against frustration, high expectations, and a perfect--or even near perfect--end result. But the goal is a good one, and our children are wiser in the end. Not every kid can list, with uncanny accuracy, the igredients to make a cake and demonstrate (by getting out the correct mixing bowl and wooden spoon from the cabinet) how to do it, or know the difference between rinsing and washing dishes and when to do which, or how to scrape the plates after dinner.

Of course there are always precautions: Watch out for hot stoves and hot pans. I put Ethan on a stepladder out of reach while I'm cooking so he can see, and ocasionally stir, but only from a distance, and with close supervision. Be careful with cleaning chemicals and bleach, and let him know these are only for adult use. Also be careful with glass, ceramic, or stoneware plates and cups that can shatter if he drops them. When we wash dishes, I always give Ethan plastic cups and plates or blunt spoons, and make sure the water temperature isn't too hot.

All precautions taken into consideration, there are few things I don't let Ethan help me with. Most kids, even as young as Ethan, can do practically anything with guidance: pushing buttons on a blender, holding the mixer (with help), "helping" to make the bed or put on sheets, cutting vegetables with a butter knife while you chop with a "real" one, putting away her own clothes and shoes into easy-access drawers or shelves, watering plants, kneading bread dough or rolling out cookie dough, helping to sweep and mop the floor, and putting away toys and purses and jackets at the end of the day. I even let Ethan pick up the crumbs under the table after he eats, help me sweep it clean, and then carry the dishes to the sink one by one.

Don't forget to make every activity fun, smile even if you're tired, and HEAP ON the praise! If he makes a mess (unless it's in direct disobedience), don't scold. You want his heart open and willing, not closed-off with criticism. Let him help you clean it up, and cheerfully encourage him to try to keep the water in the sink next time.

I don't like mess any more than the next mom, but I've relaxed a bit with time and realized, "It's just water." Dishes can be replaced. Clothes can be washed, or if they're totally ruined, used for painting smocks. Life goes on. But your child is only young and moldable for a finite amount of time, and now is your teachable moment!

As soon as I finish this post I'll be putting together some baked pasta for dinner, and Ethan will help me grate cheese, pour the white wine, measure the spices, and butter the dish.

And when we eat together with my husband tonight, I'll brag on what a great job Ethan did. Who knows? Maybe a few years from now Ethan will be doing it all himself!

Jennifer Rogers Spinola lives in Brasilia, Brazil with her Brazilian husband, Athos, and two-year-old son, Ethan. She teaches ESL private classes and is the author the "Southern Fried Sushi" series with Barbour Books (first book released in October!) Jenny is an advocate for adoption and loves the outdoors, and has previously served as a missionary to Japan.

~ So Much 'To Do' Lists... by Desirea Packard ~

I was not always an organizational person by nature. In fact, if you asked my twin, who I shared a room with until we went to college, she would totally agree. I became more organized after I got married and had children. I guess because it wasn't just about me anymore, there were other people who depended on me. Now that I am a more organized person, I make lists. I have several lists, some are covering my desk, some I have lost and then I have to make another list and try to remember what was on the one I lost. Not always the best way to go about it. But it is what it is.

I make a list of things that I would like to accomplish by the end of the week. If I make it for one day, I find myself getting bogged down on what I didn't get finished, so I plan for a week. Of course with that being said, I always find myself adding to it daily. For example, one of the lists I make is not really a list, but a meal plan. Once a month, I sit down and make a list of what's for dinner. This is time consuming, but also very helpful because this way, half of my grocery list is made for the week because I all ready have a list of meals planned. Plus this way, I am not playing the "what's for dinner?" game. I am not perfect at this, it's something that I work hard at because it's much easier. I make a list for things pertaining to my photography work, like editing photos or following up with a client, or ordering prints. I make a list for household things that need to be done like cleaning the bathroom (because I HATE doing it) or dusting. Even though these are things I should do without a list, it's hard for me to do them because cleaning house is not my favorite thing to do. If I am lucky enough, I can call my mom and she does it for me. Lame I know, but a true story. The point is, lists can be very helpful in your everyday life, whether it's for work, your children, your family or your meals, they are a resource in helping you accomplish your goals for the day, week or even months. But remember don't get aggravated with the things you don't get done, just keep working and check off the things that you have done. It's quite rewarding that way especially if you are not having that great of a day as you would like, seeing the things you did accomplish marked off always makes me feel better. I could never manage working at home and keeping the home separate without them!

Review of Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Desirea Packard

Between a Rock and a Hard Place...

I am going to be honest. I have never written a book review before so bear with me.

I am sure we all have felt like we have been stuck between a rock and a hard place, but Aron Ralston actually was. This is a true story about the journey of his life through rock climbing and the hardships he endured doing something he loved.

This book was hard for me to read, but I'm glad I finished it. Through out the book, the author tells what he remembers while being stuck under a boulder that fell on his arm while rock climbing. He video tapes as he goes days and days being stuck. The realization is sinking in that he may not make it out alive, but he for some reason doesn't give up. He isn't married and has no kids, just a mom, dad, and sister whom he loves. He tries to get comfortable and ration his food and drink, but he eventually runs out and is forced to drink his own urine, which for me would be impossible even for survival I think. But his future desires of a wife and children keep him going. He knows that God has bigger plan for him and he doesn't give up.

In the end he cuts off his own arm, which again would probably be impossible for me to do. But he wanted to live. The pictures in the book are actual photos that he took while being trapped. Some are graphic, but they really portray what he went through. In a situation like this, you discover what is really important to you and probably even find some peace on where you are heading.

In the end the author gets all those things. He is married and has a little boy. He doesn't give up on rock climbing. He is just more careful. They also made a movie about it called 127 hours. I felt the book was much better.

If you want this kind of read, its a quiet time, cup of coffee, sitting alone, enjoyable read. The book makes you rethink some of the things that may need to change in your own life. Sometimes God does things like that for us. He sticks us between a rock and a hard place to help us and mold us into the people He wants us to be. For Aron God did this literally.

Hope you enjoy the book.

Meet Contributor Desirea Packard

This should be fun, I am not very good at talking about myself. But here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy getting to know me better.

I am happily married to the man of my dreams. I have a special needs child who is the light of my world. I stay at home so that I can be here whenever he needs me, but while I am home I work on blogging, writing, and photography. I am not sure which one of these is my true passion. Probably all three. I am an identical twin. We are mirror images and she has been my best friend the longest. No matter what happens, we are always there for each other. I hope you will find this to be very enjoyable because I am who I am...

HOW WOULD PEOPLE DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

I would say, loud. I tend to be at a 12 when I need to be at a 2. Most people think that I am fun to be around, that I am kind and always trying to find how to help someone in need. Sometimes I can be not very nice, and then people would tell you a different story. If you have seen this side of me, then you have done something to deserve it, but this only usually happens in situations pertaining to my son. I think that I am beautiful inside and out and it was a long time before I came to that conclusion on both. I find if I am truly happy with myself then it's easier to be happy with other things.

WHAT IS YOUR COMFORT FOOD/DRINK?

This is easy for me. Coffee and Chocolate. I always want coffee and I can never have enough chocolate.

MOVIES-ACTION,DRAMA, ETC.

I will watch just about anything. Or at least try. I prefer the more drama, comedy, romantic comedy type movies. But if I stay awake long enough to watch the whole thing then I'm off to a good start. I am so exhausted at the end of the day if I sit down to watch a movie I usually fall fast asleep. I do not prefer horror movies, I will watch them but it's seldom. I think this world is scary enough without adding to the possibilities by watching something scary. I am a crier, so if the movie can make you cry, chances are I am sobbing.

BOOK-FICTION, NONFICTION, ETC.

They always say don't judge a book by its cover, but shamefully I do. If the cover doesn't catch my attention, chances are I won't even pick it up unless it's been recommended. I do love to read, this is my true passion. I don't have very much time to do it, but I try to at least an hour a day. I will read just about anything. I have no preference. I love reading.

WHATS YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT?

My greatest accomplishment is being a mom, and not just any mom, I am lucky. God gave me this precious little boy who just happens to have disabilities. It has been a long road and will always be but I wouldn't change it for a million bazillion dollars. He is and will always be my greatest accomplishment. I love him so much sometimes I can't breathe and would never be able to imagine my life without him.

WHAT IS ON OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS TO CATCH A WHIFF OF?

I know this will sound funny to most of you, but I love the smell of a new shoe. I don't have any idea why that is, but I do. This past week we got Malachi's new shoes and I couldn't wait to get them out of the box and smell them. But the more normal whiffs I love are coffee, babies when they are clean, spring flowers, and clothes hung out on the clothes line.

I hope that you enjoyed reading this and don't think that I am now crazy. I hope you keep coming back and checking out our blog. Thanks for reading...

The Act of Encouraging

by Desirea Packard

Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

—Isaiah 35:3

Encouragement is often a hard thing for some. Here are a few things that I do sometimes that are fast and easy and simple when you need to send encouragements.

Once a week send a letter, an email or even a text letting the person know how much they mean to you. Whether it be a spouse, or a best friend a sibling or even a parent. I often send little texts to my husband to let him know how much I appreciate his hard work and that he provides for us daily so that I can stay home and do what I love to do, which is be a mom. Now I am not saying that I don’t contribute, because I do. But he does work hard long hours away from his family every day. I appreciate that. There are some spouses that are away for weeks at a time. My husband often tells me he appreciates these texts especially when he has had a rough day. It’s encouraging. I try and never miss a chance to let someone I know how much I appreciate them. Plus, it’s also a pay it forward kind of thing. Because of this, I have seen him do the same for me or to other people he cares about.

Anticipate someone’s need. I have always believed if you ask someone how you can help, it doesn’t usually mean you really want to help you are just being polite. (I realize this isn’t always the case.) For example, this past week I was sitting in the ER after I had been up all night with a crying sick baby. When I realized he wasn’t getting better, we went to the hospital. I texted my best friend and told her I am heading there, for no reason other than she’s my best friend. Half way through the visit a nurse comes into the room with two hot cups of good coffee (not hospital coffee.) She said these were delivered for you. I knew immediately who the culprit was, and I appreciated it. This was exactly what I needed after being up all night. She knew that I probably didn’t have coffee made at home and I needed a coffee fix. This is what I mean when you try to anticipate someone’s needs. This was exactly what I needed and I was very thankful for the encouragement.

There are also the obvious forms of encouragement that can be done. Sending a card, or flowers, etc. There is nothing wrong with these traditional ways and I still use them from time to time depending on the person and the reason. Sometimes when I can’t think of something to say or do, going this route is the best option because cards have a good way of saying exactly what I want to say when I don’t know how to word it. These are a great idea.

Friends are a great source to tell you what you want to hear or need to hear rather you want to hear it or not. When I am having a bad day being a mom, stepmom, or a wife, etc. My friends are the ones I usually turn to. They usually know exactly what I need.

Pray- This may not be for everyone, but God is the giver of all things so if you are finding you need encouragement, or are struggling with something or just need a boost in your step to help you make it through wherever you’re going, pray. It’s as simple as that. I pray without ceasing. I pray for my spouse, my children, my friends, my finances. (Everything.) I am asking God to send them what they need when I don’t know what they need and I can’t help.

This is just a few things that I do or have done to help those that need encouragement when it comes to great things and the not so great things. I hope that this helps.