Monday, April 11, 2011

Code Word: Annoying

by Melissa Jagears

So my post today is to let you in on a little secret. Your children will annoy you.

Oh, that isn't news to you?

Ok, so it's not that they can annoy you, but I recently stumbled onto the meaning behind why my children getting infuriatingly annoying. It means, "Mommy, I really need you to love on me."

And the more they need my affection, feel neglected, or feel second to whatever I'm giving higher priority to, the more annoying they get. Which just makes me want to tear my hair out because it makes it harder to accomplish whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish.

So, now, if the word "annoying" ever crosses my mind about my child, I'm making a concentrated effort to stop doing whatever it is --chores, work, paying attention to the other child--as soon as possible and give my "annoying" child some one-on-one attention. Not even necessarily a huge chunk of individual time, but definitely a one-on-one-you're-special block of time like coloring a page with them or blowing on their tummy for a few minutes.

And amazingly, the annoying behaviors decrease.

So, from now on, if the word "annoying" pops into my head, I'm using it as a code word for myself--to assess if I've gotten my priorities screwed up and haven't spent enough time with my child.

If your kids are annoying you, I'd challenge you to check your child's love=time meter.


  1. I've noticed this too. :-) I'll have to remember it more often though! lol

  2. I think I've caught on to it a few times before, :) but I keep forgetting and get reannoyed all over again. So definitely needed the reminder for myself!

  3. This happens with me as well. It's amazing how much a half hour of play time contents my four year old. He normally plays so well by himself after I spend a little time with him.

  4. hmmm, I have a little annoy-er on my lap right now! Thanks for the reminder Melissa!

  5. Decoding your little one's behavior isn't an easy thing to do but you sure did, Melissa! When you're pulled in so many directions as a wife, mother, homemaker, and so much more, sometimes there's only one small "puller" that really matters.

  6. My precocious 4 year old has a unique way of telling me I'm not paying enough attention.

    When she says, "Mommy, I need you to...whatever" I'll often say, "I'm coming," then continue what I'm doing until I reach a good stopping place.

    She'll look at me and say, "It doesn't look like you're coming."

    Of course, then I stop what I'm doing and laugh while I help her.

    She's an only child, and normally very good at entertaining herself. Sometimes I take that for granted, and I need reminders like this.

  7. i love this post, Melissa. I've noticed this with my two and a half year old as well! Great reminder.